April 1, 2013:
Another week, another Justin Bieber post. What's he up to now?? When we last caught up with Justin, he was still fighting cystic fibrosis as well as spitting on his neighbor and then telling him he was going to kill him after his neighbor confronted him about his loud parties and fast driving...no biggie.
Over the weekend it was reported that Justin's pet monkey was confiscated by German custom agents, because Justin didn't have the proper paperwork...apparently rolling papers aren't considered 'proper paperwork', but nice try, sweetie. Nothing good comes from being a celebrity and having a pet monkey...cough...Michael Jackson...cough. The monkey and Justin are probably better off without one another.
Today, it's been reported that Justin is no longer welcomed at yet ANOTHER European night club. The Biebs was banned from an Austrian nightclub after his security detail smashed cameras and mobile phones of fans trying to steal Justin's soul by taking his photograph (it can happen, trust me). Jesus Christ. Justin Bieber: Europe:: General Sherman: Confederate South. Did I just AP History and SAT your mind with that one? I hope so. In other words- Justin is terrorizing Europe and leaving a trail of destruction in his wake.
The only way for Justin to rehab his image is to either go into the hospital for "exhaustion"...oh wait, didn't he already do that? Damn. The next step is to go straight to rehab...for unexplained reasons, but I'm sure he can find a rehab for being addicted to acting like a punk ass bitch. They make rehabs for everything these days.
