Brad Strikes Back

If only Brad were as smart as his Fight Club character...if only...

Yesterday I wondered how Brad Pitt would play defense after Angelina's bomb drop. Turns out Brad also doesn't have a publicist. He quit his in 2008 and has been under the control of medial wizard, Angie since then. Now he's on his own. He responded to Angie's allegations that he's an unfit father by arguing that "she's just unleashed hell" because "there's now a bounty on the heads of the entire family, because they've now become a prime target for the gaggle of paparazzi." He also corresponded directly with TMZ.

Let's dissect this, shall we?
1. His response to Angie calling him out on his parenting is to call her out on her parenting. He just issued a proverbial "NO, YOU ARE!!!" as part of his first defense.
2. He wasn't even creative enough to use a different media outlet. It's like he googled "Brad and Angie Divorce" and since TMZ had the most legitimate coverage of his break-up, he decided to go with them first. DUH! Branch out and find a different place to leak your information, you bonehead. There's US Weekly, Huffington, People, PopCrush...lots of people would be happy to report on your behalf.
3. Brad needs to hire help immediately. He'd better call the number two image controller, Beyonce, for some tips ASAP. She'll have him releasing a secret album in no time. It will have his side of the story laid over 10 tracks and a artsy video to go along with it entitled, "Sour Grapes". 

I am in no way, Team Angie and my opinion of Brad took a nose dive right around the time he cheated on his wife with the human form of Ursula the Sea Witch.
Despite this,  I've always been fascinated by their little insular world, her image control, and his dimwitted ability to just roll along with it all. They are stars alone, but otherworldly together. Which makes them so, so interesting and makes this whole divorce even more so. This could have been a private, quiet divorce, because Angie knows how to do that. She has the skills to make an under-the-radar divorce happen...just like she made their under-the-radar marriage happen. And her mastectomy happen. She issued her statement as it was yesterday on purpose and it was to get everyone's attention.

There have been rumors that "something" happened. One "source" is referring to an incident that happened about 1 week ago which gave her no choice but to file for divorce. Something that forced her hand. Here's is a quote from US Weekly, clearly released by someone close to her or even Angie herself (shit, Brad, she's cornering the market...you'd better turn to Instagram, FB, Snapchat, youtube as fast as possible and make them yours):

“The final divorce decision was only made one week ago,” the insider tells Usof Jolie Pitt’s resolve to permanently part ways with Pitt, 52. “An incident took place and prompted [Angelina] to act and file.” While details of the incident remain unknown, the insider tells Us that it “affected the entire family.” Though she may have acted hastily, pulling the plug on her relationship with the eternal heartthrob was not an easy call to make for Jolie Pitt, 41. “She still says Brad is the love of her life, and the decision has weighed heavy on her heart,” the source adds. “Her priority now is the children.” The Oscar-winning actress and director is presently in New York, according to the insider.

God, I can't get enough of the power plays here. I predict Brad will realize he's in way over his head with his mastermind wife and hire himself a powerful attorney and publicist.