1. Victoria Beckham has designed a line of clothing for Target. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I hope she sells me this gorgeous orange dress and I only have to pay $34.99 for it.
2. Jennifer Lawrence continued her sexual march through all the directors in Hollywood by sleeping..er, I mean dating Darren Aronfsky. You know what they say about a guy with 4 (5 if you count y) consecutive consonants in his last name? Don't marry him and take his last name because it's impossible to pronounce.
3. Kim Kardashian, Amber Rose, Judge Judy, and Carrie Fisher were all born today. That is quite the birthday group. 50% of whom have seen Kanye West naked.
4. Speaking of Kanye. He has the sads because his best boyfriend, Jay-Z, hasn't been nice to him lately and doesn't bring Blue Ivy over to play and didn't come visit after Kim was robbed in Paris. Sadye.
5. The World's hottest pregnant woman, Kerry Washington, announced the birth of her baby boy. The birth occurred earlier in the month, but because Kerry is a secret, undercover, ninja the world was unaware. Her son is named, Caleb, which makes her the most boring celebrity in the world in addition to the the hottest non-pregnant pregnant woman.
6. Tobey Maguire and his wife are getting divorced. Knock knock. Who's there? Who. Who Who? Who who cares about Tobey Maguire.
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