Tuesday, November 15, 2016

The grossest thing you'll read all day...


Tony Bennett is 90 years old. His gold-digging third wife, Susan, is 50. They've been married since 2007 and I bet that Mrs. Bennett wakes up every day wondering if today will be the day that she becomes a very wealthy widow. I know what you are all thinking- that I have a dark, dark soul. Yes, that is true. However, a woman in her early 40's does not marry a man in his 80's because she wants to grow old with him. She wants him to grow old, die, and then she can have his money while she is still in the prime of her life.

If that didn't make your insides feel sad, then this definitely will...Susan's parents were big Tony Bennett fans back in the 60s when Tony was 40. They met him after one of his shows once and took a picture with him. At the time, Susan was just a mere fetus in her her mom's womb. Tony now jokes that he met her before she was even born...when he was 40...but it gets better... 19 years later in the mid-80's when Susan should have been listening to The Cure, Tears for Fears, or even Prince, she was instead acting as president of the Bay Area Tony Bennett Fan Club in San Francisco. She met him after one of his shows and he asked her on a date. They dated for 20 years before they finally got married in 2007. God damn, this whole story is 10 shades of wrong.

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